M My father had no idea what prostate cancer was.
This is what continually brings me back.
He came from a lower-income background, put in long hours, cared for his loved ones, and moved forward with everyday living. He didn’t waste much of his time worrying about his well-being.
Many men from his era naturally believed that if there were significant issues, someone would inform him.
But nobody did.
As he began experiencing "incidents," he wasn't sure what was occurring. Neither did any of us. There was uncertainty, shame, and worry, yet none of us realized this might mark the start of an ordeal that would ultimately take his life.
By the time he received the diagnosis, the cancer It had reached his bones. It was incurable.
Many people discuss cancer in relation to mortality. What remains in my memory is the hardship. Death occurs eventually. The struggle, however, may extend over many years. My father survived for an additional six years following his diagnosis when he was 61. What came next wasn't just fighting against cancer. It involved prolonged agony and constant doubt.
Medical treatment extended his lifespan, yet it was unable to return the life that the cancer had stolen. It could not bring back the honor, independence, and standard of living that the illness had removed from him.
What lingers in my mind is seeing a powerful individual gradually relinquish their autonomy. Observing someone dear to me suffer from agony that I am unable to alleviate.
A specific type of powerlessness arises from this situation. At times, your only option is to observe. You wish to resolve things. You desire to safeguard those you care about. You hope that someone, at some point, holds the solution. Yet, instead, you end up feeling helpless.
For many years, my family experienced feelings of powerlessness and despair. Cancer affects not just the individual diagnosed but also touches every part of a family. It alters discussions, future arrangements, and personal connections. It remains present with you, regardless of whether you want it to be there.
This is why I struggle when conversations around prostate cancer center solely on numbers, expenses, or policy documents. I recognize these aspects are important.
However, when I consider prostate cancer, I am reminded of my father and our family. I reflect on the struggles we faced, the harm inflicted upon him, and the impact on everyone who cared for him.
Above everything else, I often reflect on what could have been. Had my father's cancer been detected sooner, he would still be with us now. All because my personal journey unfolded in another way.
My father's passing showed me the importance of being attentive. Thanks to my career and the conditions of my life, I have obtained understanding, examinations, and healthcare services that he was never able to experience.
I managed to keep track of my health. I was able to identify issues at an early stage. I received treatment for my prostate cancer, which was discovered when I turned 53, before it became untreatable. This awareness improved my chances. It helped me survive. To be truthful, there’s a sense of guilt associated with knowing my situation ended differently. The sole reason for this difference is that I had access to resources he didn’t have.
I understand my origins. I recognize that the chances I have now weren't accessible to my father. We belonged to a working-class household. We lacked the resources, knowledge, and connections that I eventually gained in life.
My father lacked those benefits. He didn't possess the knowledge. He wasn't given the chance to take action sooner. And as a result, he suffered the greatest consequence.
Many men still fail to do so. This is why I have difficulty comprehending our current situation.
It is known that certain individuals have an increased likelihood of developing prostate cancer.
It is known that Black men have a higher risk of developing the condition and are twice as likely to succumb to it. It is also understood that genetic background plays a significant role. Early detection of prostate cancer greatly enhances treatment success.
Nevertheless, we still uphold a system where numerous men only realize they have the illness once it has progressed. We keep allowing men to learn about it accidentally.
I truly can't grasp that. What complicates matters further is the fact that the choice to exclude targeted screening for Black men was determined by a panel with no Black representatives.
I can't stop thinking about how a ruling impacting so many Black men could have been different if there had been someone present who truly grasped, through their own experiences, the impact of this illness on Black families.
I wonder, if we understand who is most vulnerable, then why are we still delaying action? Why are we letting additional families go through the same sense of powerlessness and despair that ours faced? Why do we tolerate prolonged hardship for countless men and their loved ones? Hardship that frequently could have been avoided.
I consider this unacceptable. I believe it's unforgivable because I witnessed what occurred to my father. I understand just how deeply it affected our entire family.
And I consider it unacceptable because there are strong reasons to think that if my father’s cancer had been detected sooner, he might still be living now. This isn’t just optimism; this is what the data indicates.
I am unable to alter what occurred to him. I can't restore for my family the years that prostate cancer took away. However, I also can't overlook the lessons learned from that ordeal. My father endured and passed away because his cancer was detected at an advanced stage. I managed to survive since mine was identified earlier.
Being aware of this, I cannot agree that other families should have to take the same path when we already understand who is most vulnerable.
Renowned British artist and director Sir Steve McQueen holds the title of CBE. .
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